Shop for a writers group like you would a family doctor, agent, or financial broker. The personality has to fit snug, like a glove. It should feel natural and comforting, encouraging and beneficial. If you cannot open up before the group, the experience is worthless. If your doctor cannot fix your ills, you find another one. If your writer’s group cannot aid your writing career, find another one.

The good group.

I believe that a good critique group evades most writers. You almost have to start your own group, unless you stumble into a rare and marvelous opportunity. Find those special writers whose work you appreciate, personality you enjoy, and writing you admire, then start a clique. Go to an established writers group and get to know the people. Once you find two or three that rub you the right way, ask them to form a critique group. Do not confuse a writers' group with a critique group as they are usually two different animals.

Keep the number small so you accomplish genuine work. A dozen writers in a critique group can mean weeks between turns of giving and receiving criticism. The effort of running the group wears it out, and with the large number of people you increase the odds of personality clashes. Three or four people, maybe five, comprise a small enough cadre to know each other’s work for a thorough intimate review. Once you find the match, dedicate yourself to the process. When the group melds together, miracles occur.

The clash.

Inevitably, a clash between members will arise. And sooner or later you will be involved. Try hard to work through the controversy. No one gets through life without a bit of animosity crossing her path, and running from it hurts the group as a whole. If you’ve been hurt, try to step back and analyze the facts. Passion runs deep in the writing crowd. Telling someone that his words are weak or the message is unclear can sting. Work at offering criticism without barbs, even to the people who zinged your last submission. Strive to offer a positive to every negative so a writer cannot only recognize her weaknesses but her strengths as well. The positives dilute the potential for clash. Accept criticism without scorn. Yes, someone will say something out of line along the way, but not taking issue with every remark avoids the fight. Diffuse the fight by not reacting so that it has a chance to catch on fire.

The poison.

At times you find people who poison your world. When you hate going to the group meeting it is time to analyze the benefits received versus the pain inflicted. There are people who collide with your mission whether they mean to or not. Regardless of how you behave, they take issue with you, your work, or your personality. Time to leave. Your writing becomes infected when you cannot decipher the legitimate criticism from the biting slander and jealous condescension. Crop these people out of your world or you risk eroding your writing goals and your self-esteem.

Writing groups are marvelous entities, or organizations from hell. To find the right one, take the time to shop around. This writing business is a part of you. Cherish it and nourish it as it deserves.