Cheryl C. Malandrinos
ccmal@charter.net
Word count: 600
If You Over Commit, You Won’t Submit: Learning to Say
"No"
Copyright Cheryl C. Malandrinos - All Rights Reserved.
Tis the season of endless obligations--shopping,
wrapping, baking, decorating--and you still have to fit in everything
else you regularly do. It’s easy to over commit any time during the
year, but especially when the holiday season is in full swing.
An overcommitted writer usually isn’t the most
productive writer. With little time left in the day to dedicate to
writing, your number of submissions can go down or stop altogether.
Learning to say "no" isn’t easy, but it is a sure fire
way to make sure you don’t overextend yourself this holiday season.
First Step
The first step in any needed change is acknowledging
the problem. Donna Birk, a trainer, coach, and founder of People
Builders, states learning to say no is a three-stage process. In the
first stage, she says, we have "identified our need to learn to say ‘no’
and make it one of our goals."
She also says this is where we will identify
opportunities from the past where we could have said no, but didn’t.
But how do you use that knowledge to manage your time
better?
Making Decisions
Consider these things when deciding to take on
something new.
Does this fit in with my goals? Setting goals is
essential for any writer. Staying committed to your writing goals
will help you identify if a project is worth taking on.
How much is on your calendar? Carefully examine
your calendar when asked to be part of another project. Find out how
much time you will need to commit to this new project and take a
critical look at if you have that time available.
Are you comfortable with this project? Sometimes
the people or the type of work involved might make you feel
uncomfortable working on a project.
Are you the best person for this project?
Identify how much knowledge you have on the subject and if you are
the right person for it.
Now that you have given thought to all these things,
what happens if you have to say no?
Saying "No"
A simple, straight-forward, "No, I cannot help," is
usually the best answer, but it isn’t always easy. You almost feel like
you’re being mean or selfish. While you shouldn’t feel the need to
explain yourself, if you want to say "no" in a gentler way you can try
these ideas from Online Organizing:
"I need to focus on my career right now." There’s
nothing wrong in admitting that your writing is important to you.
"I don’t have any room in my calendar." If your
plate is full, then it’s full.
"I’m not comfortable with that." Taking on a
project that makes you uncomfortable will add unnecessary stress to
the situation.
"I have no experience with that," or "This really
is not my strong suit." Admit your limitations up front. This will
allow you to work on things you do well.
The last thing you need to consider is something that
time management expert, Dr. Donald Wetmore has touched upon. No one but
you knows where you are taking your life. If you keep saying "yes" when
you should be saying "no" then people will continue to take up your
time, possibly keeping you from accomplishing what you really want to
do.
Saying "no" and staying focused on your writing goals
will help you make the time to submit this holiday season, and every day
throughout the year.
